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| october 13 1995 - october 20 1995 |
October 13 1995
I hate everything. The kids beat me up today. The big man was behind the jungle gym and I ran to the slide and they pushed me down and laffed. My leg is sprayned and I have a cast on my leg. Michael and Jeremy got a referal. Sometimes he has more than 2 arms. Mommy says the big man is in my imagination. My imagination scares me.
October 20 1995
My leg is getting better but now Im sick with flu. Mommy makes me take more gross medecine and pills but makes good soup. The docter says I have a virus. Im glad I dont have to go to school but my leg hurts bad and I feel really sick. Oscar doesnt care that I am sick. He sleeps with me anyway. I dont like it when Rick hits Mommy because it makes her cry. He reminds me of Jeremy. I had a nightmare too I was in my bed and couldnt move. The door opened and a man came over to my bed and told me to get a book from grandpa. He was made of blackness. He scares me like the big man does. They are friends.
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| october 22 1995 |
October 22 1995
I cant do anything because I have a high fever. I am sore all over and cough alot. I have to read books for class but I dont want to because reading is boring. Video games are fun but they get boring. The big man is outside my window some times when I look. I wish I had a brother or sister or a real daddy to play with. Being alone is nice but it is boring. I wish Noah lived closer too because was fun to play with. I have weird dreams when I have high fever. Last night I dreamed that I was hugging my real daddy Robert next to a lake and it felt really real but I dont know if it was a dream or a memory.
YOU WILL KICK
AND YOU WILL SCREAM
AND TELL YOURSELF
IT IS ONLY A DREAM
BUT YOUR EYES ARE OPEN
THE PINCH YOU CAN FEEL
FOR YOU ARE NOT ASLEEP
THE DREAM IS
REAL
I do not remember writing this.*
*i think this may be older milo commenting on this entry from years later
