six years pass.
 |
| september 16 2003 |
September 16 2003
Well hello there, Journal. It’s Milo and today I’ve found you! What a neat birthday present! I just turned 15 today. I almost forgot you even existed. I remember that nice doctor giving me a journal waaay back and the last time I recalled having it was sometime before the boat accident. Everything else in between is a blur, but I do remember looking everywhere trying to find you and giving up because I thought you were lost forever. I only found you because of this dream I had where a shadow version of myself led me into Mom’s room and opened her safe. It showed me the combo. When she went out to get groceries today I opened the safe and found you inside! So now I’m reading all of these entries I wrote from 6 years ago and I’m shocked because don’t remember most of it. And it’s all really creepy. I’ve never sleepwalked, I don’t know of a freaky book club, and I’ve never seen any weird big man. I’m pretty sure I made that stuff up when I was a mental kid and I just don’t remember because of the drugs I’ve been taking, but I’m noticing some familiar dreams and odd similarities. Mom does go out every Friday for PTA meetings, I have this unexplainable feeling that I’m being watched all the time, and sometimes I have these recurring dreams of shadow people that look like people I know.
 |
| september 16 2003 |
My therapist says that they’re negative emotions manifesting themselves as beings, but there have been times that they show me things I couldn’t have known and I wonder if they’re some kind of premonitions. I mean, how was I able to open a locked safe I never even knew the combination to? Weird! There’s some pretty weird stuff in here about Mom too. I don’t remember her having all these affairs. Mom told me that I was diagnosed with a form of childhood schizophrenia when I was younger where I had these crazy fantasies and visions of situations that never happened and people who weren’t really there. They gave me some special medication that fixed my brain but, they say I have to keep taking it or else my mental condition will just get worse. I’ve been mostly fine for years but sometimes I have these blackout episodes where I don’t remember the day. I’ve been taking supplements for those memory issues and I’m doing fine. Even though a lot of my memory of that time just went away, I remember having a happy childhood. Maybe I suppressed all the visions? Maybe the affairs too? What else have I repressed? What I’m really wondering is why Mom kept it locked away. Maybe she thought confronting my old delusions would be traumatic for me. I sure had crazy imagination. I’m not even sure why I’m writing in here now. I guess it feels good to write down my thoughts. Maybe I’ll keep writing. It’s nice too meet you again but for now, back in the safe with you. Mom can’t know.
