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| february 23 2007 |
February 23 2007
I’m running in a deep dark forest. There are towering trees surrounding me, taller than I’ve ever seen before. Something is definitely chasing me but I don’t dare turn around to see what it is. I hide behind a thick tree and catch my breath. I carve the eye symbol into the trunk with a spoon. Someone says my name behind me. I turn around to find a clearing. In the center illuminated by moonlight is a safe. It doesn’t look like Mom’s safe, it’s different. It has a knob, a keyhole, and buttons. Out of the shadows comes a man. It’s the dark version of me. He reaches his closed hand out to me, I reach mine. He drops something into my hand. It’s a key. It has a black plastic handle. I look up to the dark me, but I can’t speak. He lift’s his head up to look at the moon. Blood pours from a gash in his neck. I try to speak again and feel warmth run down my chest. Before I can touch my neck, I wake. The powers that be really want me to get into Mom’s safe. When she left for her secret meeting, I searched around the house. The alternate me wants me to find this key. I looked in all the spots I remember seeing keys, but all of them are full metal and none have that plastic top. I found one that was at least shaped similarly in the kitchen that I swore was for an old car, but I went into Mom’s room to try it on the safe. But there was no safe, only an imprint on the floor where a safe used to sit. I looked all over her room, all over the house, but there was nothing. I’m not sure what to make of the dream yet, but there’s
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| february 23 2007 - june 22 2007 |
gotta be something very important in there they want me to get my hands on. In better news, Noah called today and invited me over in June for a camping trip. I had money saved up for a Wii, but I’d much rather spend my time hanging with Noah for a few days instead of playing video games alone. I asked Mom for permission and she took a while to respond but eventually said sure and I booked my ticket immediately after. I just heard the whispers again. I tried to record it on my phone but it’s just some screechy feedback.
June 22 2007
After I went through the standard routine with my psychiatrist, I said goodbye to John and Mom and took a taxi to the airport. This was my first time flying on a plane on my own so I was a little nervous but it was less scary than I anticipated. There was this nice lady sitting next to me and we had a conversation about film making the whole flight. Noah and his dad picked me up and just being in their company lifted my spirits to a place they hadn’t been in a long while, cracking jokes and telling stories all the way back to Noah’s house. I’m glad I didn’t end up buying a Wii because Noah already had one and we played the new rerelease of Resident Evil 4, which was awesome. After that, we got our camping gear together and drove off to the campsite. This was also my first time ever camping. The prospect of being alone in the woods honestly gives me the creeps
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| june 22 2007 |
because I always have had nightmares of being chased through them and figured Mr. Slim was out for my blood. However, being with Noah and Uncle Alex made me feel really comfortable and safe so I was actually pretty excited to be amongst nature. We drove about 50 miles inland before we reached the parking lot. There were some deer grazing really close to us and I snapped a good pic of them. It was really hot but we had to walk along this trail the rest of the way to get to the campsite. I swore I saw someone in the trees, but Uncle Alex said that we’re not the only ones out here since there were other cars. We came across this wooden structure and Alex said he and his buddies used to play in it when he camped here back when he was a teen. There was more walking before we reached another wooden tower and he said that we were close. Finally, we made it to the campsite which really didn’t look all that different than any of the other clearings we passed. While Noah’s dad set up our tents, Noah and I chased some squirrels that were nearby and I got a really close up pic of one. It was starting to get dark so we lit a campfire and we roasted some hot dogs and marshmallows and cooked some beans. The fire we made was much better than last year, and it was just us so it felt even more special. While talking about it, the subject of Noah’s house fire came up. I asked to know more about it, since I
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| june 22 2007 |
barely knew anything about what went down and I could relate. Alex said that the fire happened on October 10th, 1998, and it was some sort of electrical deal or something like a short circuit that started due to some faulty wiring in their breaker box. Noah’s parents were out at a concert and he was left home with a babysitter. She was sleeping in front of the TV and the fumes knocked her out so she got burned really badly, but Noah was found unharmed by the firefighters sleeping in his room. Then Alex said that my Mom flew down immediately after to offer the family some aid, like the very next day.* I thought back to that time and vaguely recall her leaving for Florida in 1998, but only because she let me stay over at Kevin’s house that Friday. The thing is, I don’t think she ever mentioned anything about the fire until after she got back home. I instantly felt sick to my stomach and asked to be excused so I could go to bed. Why would she do that? There’s no legitimate reason I can think of. I know she had an ongoing feud with her sister over the way Karl treated her, but the fighting never got that bad. I don’t want to think she did it. But where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
*i don't remember much of the day of the fire back when i was 7, but mary did come down. she was so very kind to us, and we were so thankful at the time. it almost felt apologetic in retrospect.
