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| december 21 2007 |
December 21 2007
We flew into New York yesterday. It occurred to me as we landed that I haven’t been to New York in 10 years. Man, did I miss the food here. I’m sure I ate my weight in pizza alone. The Adler kids have really grown. I almost didn’t recognize them in their formal attire and their personalities were very unlike what I remember. They seemed like completely different people. I guess a decade will do that. We spent a good while catching up and it felt really nice reacquainting with one another. Only a few students in their entire university receive such accolades for exemplary academic performance so I felt proud to be related to them. I didn’t really know my Grandma Sonia well, but I wish she could have been there to see her sister’s grandchildren be so distinguished. Aunt Steph saw me show off my camera and she asked if I could film them as they walked to accept their awards since their camera had broken, and I agreed. Good thing I brought extra tapes. I still have to review the last week of night footage. I’ve honestly gotten lazy due to results. Before we left for the ceremony in the afternoon, Mom complained of severe abdominal pain and said to go on without her and that she’d meet us there. Of course, she never showed up. I already knew she was lying. It’s Friday and her secret special meetings are more important than celebrating her own family. Despicable. At the auditorium, Aunt Sharon was there. I sat next to her and asked about Noah. She said he and his dad weren’t able to make it for monetary reasons. I was relieved, honestly. The less exposure he has to me the better. I feel bad about not calling him for his birthday, but the less contact the better. I went on to film the ceremony, but had to stop shooting before the closing statements because I had foolishly neglected to charge the camera overnight and the battery had died on me. No sooner had I realized this, than I caught
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| december 21 2007 - december 28 2007 |
a glimpse of Mr. Slim. He was behind a promenade window above the farthest seats across the arena overlooking the auditorium. I tried to boot up my camera, but there was no juice. Typical ill-timed circumstances, it’s like he knows. I had trained myself for this moment though. In one swift motion, I flipped out my phone and snapped a pic. He was gone as soon as the snapshot noise chimed, but this time I got the son of a bitch. The image glitched and I didn’t get his full form, but there’s clearly someone there, darker than the rest. I can almost make out branchlike tendrils. As everyone began to stand up to exit, I was the most ecstatic person in the room. This was just a small step in acquiring evidence and wouldn’t hold up on its own, but a step forward nonetheless. What is a lake but accumulation of many drops? I’m going to allow myself to sleep soundly tonight. Any progress deserves to feels really, really good.
December 28 2007
I was under the impression from Mom that we were going to leave shortly after the award ceremony, but apparently we’re staying through New Years for a change. I’m grateful that the Adler family was gracious enough to house us for that long. We spent the holidays with them and I had a really great time. It really felt like the old family reunions we used to have, back when times were simpler and happiness was in abundance. I was having such a good time with the Adlers that I didn’t even notice Mom leave last night. I was still riding the high of snagging that photo when she abruptly took me aside during game night to say that we’re leaving for an important meeting soon.
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| december 28 2007 |
My contentment was shattered. I didn’t want to go to any of her shady secret meetings but I knew better than to question her, lest I wish to blow my faux-medicated cover. Medicated me tends to follow orders without question. I reluctantly got dressed and followed her outside. There was a car waiting for us. To my surprise, the driver was Aunt Sharon. I assumed she was also in the cult. I tried my best to remain calm but I was already thoroughly freaking out. She asked why Mom was bringing me. Mom replied that, “Either he comes along to see him or the deal is off. I want Milo to speak to him.” Sharon conceded with a heavy sigh and we drove off. I was panicking internally, not knowing what was happening and unable to bring myself to ask anything in fear of giving myself away to Mom. The sisters were behaving alarmingly civil. Nothing seemed right. In my nervous rush, I had left my camera and phone in my backpack. I felt naked without them, utterly defenseless. First, we pulled up to an unfamiliar house and a quiet man with a stack of folders got in the back seat across from me. Next, we pulled into a Burger King drive thru and Sharon ordered 5 meals. Oddly enough, this scared me even more, only adding to the sheer confusion of the situation. Finally, after a drive long enough to make the burgers cold, we parked on a familiar street. We were at Grandpa Karl’s house. “First we iron out the legalities. Milo can come in after we’re done. I don’t want any issues with dad.” Sharon said. Mom agreed and told me, “Stay here and eat. We will come back for you after we’re done sorting things out.” She gave me an abnormally long glare before breaking eye contact, as if to insinuate
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| december 28 2007 |
something unsaid. The sisters and the mystery man left the car with their food and rang the doorbell. Mom stayed out of view as Karl answered the door to Sharon. He looked much older, his hair had fallen out and he walked with a limp. She and the man exchanged some words with Karl before he looked past them to see Mom and a commotion erupted. Karl tried to shut the door, but Mom stuck her foot in it and ushered everyone inside. The door slammed shut and I was left in silence, forced to breathe the stench of paper bag wrapped fast food. They were confronting Karl about a legal matter. It didn’t seem to be cult related so far. But why did Mom need to speak to him all of a sudden? I was a bit dizzy from the stress and not hungry in the least, so I opened the car door to get some fresh air. Maybe this wasn’t a cult meeting, maybe this was just a Karl meeting. I reevaluated my predicament. Mom could have simply just left me with the Adlers, or even back home with John. We spent a lot of cash on those plane tickets. I was beginning to think that she brought me along deliberately. Maybe she’s counting on me to nab that magic journal. That had to be why I was there. The front door’s unlocked. I knew where to look. I could sneak in if I dared. But should I do what she wants me to? What they want me to? Is it even a good idea to steal it? I’ve felt an uncanny attraction to that damn book for years. Fuck it, I thought. I was so close before, and I don’t know the next time I’ll have such an opportunity. If anything, I could swipe it covertly without anyone knowing so I could find out for myself why it was so sought after. So I left the car, went to the door, and entered as quietly as I could.
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| december 28 2007 |
I didn’t have to try that hard, because the shouting in the kitchen masked any noise I made in the foyer. I moved to the adjacent room and listened in. They were discussing Karl’s will, and the unknown man seemed to be a translator. At first I wondered why he was there, considering Mom knows German. Either he’s there for legal counsel, or Sharon probably hired him because she doesn’t trust Mom, and I wouldn’t blame her. It was clear that Karl was not being cooperative. Sharon was calm and collected, but Mom was heated. Eventually she said, “What’s gonna happen to that book when you go, dad?” I heard Karl light a cigarette and mutter something before coughing. The man translated, “Little girls shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches when they enjoy lighting fires.” Mom was furious at this and I smiled wide to myself. I couldn’t help but admire the gall my grandfather had for holding his own against her. Sharon took hold of the conversation and mentioned appraising the collection of expensive China dishware, held in the room I was currently in. I quickly snuck out as they entered and turned on the light. I tiptoed upstairs, retracing my dream like I had done years ago. I entered the closet, turned on the light, and located the vent. I didn’t have a screwdriver, so I plucked a thin button from one of the coats and used it to loosen the screws and remove the vent. There it was. The ammunition box. Nostalgia rushed through me as I unlatched it, took out the old satchel, and removed the leather bound journal. It was surreal to hold it again. I untied it and flipped through the aged pages. It was ages upon pages of German writing with some odd drawings.
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| december 28 2007 |
Depictions of Mr. Slim were among them. Suddenly, I came across something that… my mind couldn’t make sense of. I still cannot find the words to accurately explain or recall what it was. I felt the same intense vibe that I had only felt once before when I had last seen it in 1996. I touched it. I felt nothing on my skin as my fingertips passed over it, but a bizarre sensation flowed through me that I can only describe as an ineffably strong connection to some divine power, far beyond my comprehension. In that moment, it was as if millions of wandering eyes had all turned to stare at me at once. I felt him. He was very near. There was an abrupt piercing shriek from downstairs. It was Karl, “Das kind! Das kind ist hier!” I leaped up and ran down stairs with this holy tomb that felt alive in my hands, adrenaline racing. I could hear bounding from across the house towards me. I made it to the front door, opened it, and was blocked by dark figure. Shadow Karl. “Nicht.” he whispered. Before I had the chance to react, I was checked in the jaw by an elbow and fell to the floor. Karl pried the journal from my grip and held it tight as the others entered the scene. Karl ran downstairs to the basement as Mom gave chase, both screaming in German at each other. Karl kept repeating the same line over and over. Sharon, bewildered, asked the trembling translator what he was saying. The man gulped and translated, “The child tried to kill us all. The child tried to kill us all.”
