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| may 4 2008 |
May 4 2008
I woke from a coughing fit with an awful migraine at 4 AM. The more I think about it, I’ve always coughed more than usual on my Florida trips. But it’s really bad now, I hacked too hard and some chunky blood came up. I drank some Robitussin that I found in Noah’s bathroom and that seemed to help a bit, but my anxiety was shooting through the roof. I went to get my benzo but I’m fresh out. I’ve been taking too many these past few days and I can’t refill for at least another week. My head pain was a more pressing issue, it was extremely uncomfortable. I don’t have any headache medication with me. I tried to ride it out and fall back asleep, but it felt like my brain was being squeezed from the inside and there was no way I could knock myself out with that level of pain. But, I had an idea. Yesterday, Noah showed me this Sodoku Rubix cube he had that was jammed in place and I offered to try and fix it. I asked for an X-Acto knife and he pointed me to the first kitchen drawer. In that drawer were some pill bottles under his dad’s name. One of them was a drug that ended in “triptan”. From my research into medication, I knew that triptans are a class of medicine used for the treatment of migraines. There were definitely a few left in that bottle. I very much didn’t want to go out into the house alone in the dark, his presence was as strong and near as ever. But then I remembered Noah’s camera. Slim hates cameras, so I can at least ward him off and at most have a perfect opportunity to capture proof of his existence. So I took the camera and went to the kitchen, sticking the lens in every open area like spraying bug repellant. I got to the
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| may 4 2008 |
drawer and took one tablet. As I swallowed, I swore that I saw something move outside. As I filmed out the window, there was an intense jolt of pain in my neck and I fell. I thought it was a thunderclap headache, but I soon realized that I was struck with something solid from behind. I looked up and I vaguely recall seeing something there on top of the fridge that wasn’t there before, but I can’t remember what it was. I ran back to Noah’s room and blacked out. I don’t remember anything else after getting inside. I woke up on the floor a few hours later to Noah standing over me. I said that I have a sleepwalking problem and left it at that. At least my migrane was gone. While Noah showered, I took the camera and watched what I had filmed. I didn’t seem to have captured anything other than some garbled footage near the end. After breakfast, Noah decided that we’d head out to Victor Park again so we could check out the nature trail and an observation tower. Everything within me was imploring me to object, citing the recurring nightmares I had based there, but I ended up humoring him. I knew I was so fucking close to getting Slim on camera and I may not have this chance again. It felt like he’d been closing in with every passing hour and there was something about that park that seemed to draw him out. So we went. I noticed that this black car was following us wherever we drove, might have been coincidence even though it looked vaguely familiar to me, like from a dream. I wonder if Mr. Slim can drive. Once there, we walked past a dog park and a memorial playground before starting down the trail. If my childhood hadn’t been tainted by repeated visions of this place then maybe I would have been able to admire its natural splendor a bit more because it was a very pretty trail. We made it to the trail tower, which was taller than the boardwalk tower but closed off for some reason. I was pretty relieved that we couldn’t climb it. I always
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| may 4 2008 |
envision falling and it freaks me out. We instead took a break at the picnic table beneath the tower. I had a turn with Noah’s camera to film around for a bit, but saw nothing. Even though the boardwalk was a mile away that whole area still exuded this threatening energy, there was no doubt that Slim was near. We continued on and Noah got a phone call from his dad. He handed me the camera and I swung it all around hoping to catch him. And then I did. Through a clearing in the trees, a figure in black peered down at us. My skin tingled violently at witnessing him and my fight or flight response had me running. I was thrilled, I felt like I had just shot the National Geographic photo of the year, and at the same time completely terrified as I was being subsequently chased by the subject of my shot. I felt him trail behind me as I ran, and I didn’t stop until I reached the car. Once I came to my senses, I realized that I had totally left Noah in the dust and that I was going to have to explain myself. Noah didn’t seem to have run after me and as the minutes passed I began to worry why he was taking so long and contemplating if I should go back in after him before it got too dark. Finally he made it back to the car and I just said that I wanted to go home. I expected him to be annoyed with me, but he expressed more of a concern than anything. What a guy.* The car ride back to the house was excruciatingly silent. Eventually he asked why I ran. I told him not to worry about me. We had a speechless dinner and I retreated back to Noah’s room
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| may 4 2008 |
where I am now writing this entry. I had a mini heart attack as he filmed me write. Who knows who Mom is keeping an eye on, who knows what’ll happen if she sees me writing in here on YouTube or something. I asked him if he was going to post our footage anywhere publicly and he said that this was only for his personal records, so I breathed a sigh of relief.** It was a brief relief however, because now that I have something legit on camera I must follow through with my prime objective, to present it to Noah. I only have one day left here to spill the beans to him. I’ve waited long enough. I’m still going to try and capture more footage of Mr. Slim, but tomorrow is the day that I tell Noah about him. Okay so just now before bed I took a look at my phone and found a bunch of pictures timestamped from Saturday night. There are six new photos. Three of them are unintelligible, the other three undoubtedly show Mr. Slim. They’re still very blurry, but he’s clearly front and center in the images. I guess I took them that night. Even more evidence to show Noah. I’m still unsure how exactly I’m going to give him this insane sounding talk, but the longer I hold off on doing it, the harder it’s going to be and the harder he’s going to take it. But it must be done. Tomorrow.
*i actually remember walking back to the car being fairly annoyed at him for acting so bizarrely, not understanding why he was inexplicably running. but as the context deepens, it hurts even more knowing what he was going through on his own. it seems like we all end up running from him. we’re all driven by that same fear. we’re all alone.
**circumstances have since changed, so i'm sure he would understand.
